Before my nan died from cancer, she became very poorly and people needed to look after her that little bit extra. When someone is terminally ill, things can be so hard for them. I remember my nan said some mean things and at the time I was like, that's not nice! and maybe sometimes we may of had little squabbles. I think that's only normal, since we would squabble when she wasn't poorly too.
Sometimes they may say something, that can really upset you. They may be in a lot of pain, if they are terminally ill they have to face the fact that there is no cure. You can imagine how hard that is, not only for them but for everybody around them too. They may say things because they are finding it hard to come to terms with things, or as a cry for help. At the time of my Nan being ill I was 16/17 and I didn't fully understand this concept. I was learning how to help and deal with it too. What I should of done is take no offence of the mean things she could say, even if they wasn't directed at me, and understand how they feel.
My dad use to drop me off at my Nan's house about 7:20am every morning before college, and I would sit with her, do some crosswords and she use to hide some chocolate away in a little box for us :) I stayed there until about 8:30 and then I'd walk really fast to college. It would take an hour if I walked normally but I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could. At lunch break we had 1 hour so I would almost run back to her house so I could spend 15 minutes with her, and after college I'd walk back there again and my dad would come and pick me up when he finished work.
I was grateful to be able to spend time with my Nan, before she was ill we went to her house every Saturday, and she came to our house once a week too. And during school holidays we saw her more. We spent a lot of time with my Nan before she was ill and we have many happy memories. The thing is, when someone gets ill from cancer, there will be bad memories. But if they do pass away (terminally ill) focus on the happy and the good memories you had.
I have got a shoe box in my room with things that reminds me of my Nan. Everything in that box tells a story. Whether it be a photo that I can look at and say 'Ohh do you remember this?' or a magazine she bought me and we read together and I remember sitting with her and reading it. A decoration from her Christmas tree she gave me when I was little and I remember spending all of the Christmas's with her. So the box is something I can open up when I want to, I can sit and remember her or I can sit and tell other people stories about her for hours!
The point is, if you can create a way for you to remember them, whether it's a shoe box of memories, you could make a scrapbook, I've made memorial dvd's for multiple people before with lot's of photo's and a song that really fits their situation. There are so many things you can do to help you remember everything.
I know that I was always afraid of forgetting peoples faces who have passed away, I think that's something most people are scared of but just find your own little way of remembering.
If you have someone who has passed away and you have a way of remembering them, please share it on here. You can leave a comment below. If you have a story to tell of something about this post you'd like to share on here please email me at mum.cancer@hotmail.com
If you would like your story to me anonymous then please state *anon at the end.
Samantha
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