when people become memories

Before my nan died from cancer, she became very poorly and people needed to look after her that little bit extra. When someone is terminally ill, things can be so hard for them. I remember my nan said some mean things and at the time I was like, that's not nice! and maybe sometimes we may of had little squabbles. I think that's only normal, since we would squabble when she wasn't poorly too. 

Sometimes they may say something, that can really upset you. They may be in a lot of pain, if they are terminally ill they have to face the fact that there is no cure. You can imagine how hard that is, not only for them but for everybody around them too. They may say things because they are finding it hard to come to terms with things, or as a cry for help. At the time of my Nan being ill I was 16/17 and I didn't fully understand this concept. I was learning how to help and deal with it too. What I should of done is take no offence of the mean things she could say, even if they wasn't directed at me, and understand how they feel.

My dad use to drop me off at my Nan's house about 7:20am every morning before college, and I would sit with her, do some crosswords and she use to hide some chocolate away in a little box for us :) I stayed there until about 8:30 and then I'd walk really fast to college. It would take an hour if I walked normally but I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could. At lunch break we had 1 hour so I would almost run back to her house so I could spend 15 minutes with her, and after college I'd walk back there again and my dad would come and pick me up when he finished work. 

I was grateful to be able to spend time with my Nan, before she was ill we went to her house every Saturday, and she came to our house once a week too. And during school holidays we saw her more. We spent a lot of time with my Nan before she was ill and we have many happy memories. The thing is, when someone gets ill from cancer, there will be bad memories. But if they do pass away (terminally ill) focus on the happy and the good memories you had. 

I have got a shoe box in my room with things that reminds me of my Nan. Everything in that box tells a story. Whether it be a photo that I can look at and say 'Ohh do you remember this?' or a magazine she bought me and we read together and I remember sitting with her and reading it. A decoration from her Christmas tree she gave me when I was little and I remember spending all of the Christmas's with her. So the box is something I can open up when I want to, I can sit and remember her or I can sit and tell other people stories about her for hours!

The point is, if you can create a way for you to remember them, whether it's a shoe box of memories, you could make a scrapbook, I've made memorial dvd's for multiple people before with lot's of photo's and a song that really fits their situation. There are so many things you can do to help you remember everything. 

I know that I was always afraid of forgetting peoples faces who have passed away, I think that's something most people are scared of but just find your own little way of remembering.

If you have someone who has passed away and you have a way of remembering them, please share it on here. You can leave a comment below. If you have a story to tell of something about this post you'd like to share on here please email me at mum.cancer@hotmail.com

 If you would like your story to me anonymous then please state *anon at the end.

Samantha 

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stop thinking, Just Live

Things can get so hard sometimes. Cancer runs in my family, but if we all lived in fear we wouldn't be living, just surviving. For yourself, you should check for signs of breast cancer regularly, if there's nothing there; don't worry. 

When I was younger and still a little now, I use to be scared of loosing things and people. I have always been aware of cancer from a very young age, knowing people who have had it. Or even to the point of having a hamster die, oh my gosh when my dog died that was awful. Everybody hates loosing things, but you shouldn't fear the future. Appreciate and count what you do have instead of thinking about all the things you don't have. Love your family and friends, and live for today. Smile lots and LIVE.

Samantha 

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first ever post

So I have been deciding whether to open up this blog, whether I wanted to tell, if I really wanted you to hear. The thing is, we all have at least one story to tell, and telling it could help other people and make you feel a little better too. You see, my Nan died from cancer last February - which started off from breast cancer and developed, and now my mum has breast cancer.

When I found out my mum may have it, I took straight to the internet, I wanted to hear other peoples stories, but it was just coming up with chat rooms with people talking publicly. I didn't want that, I wanted to actually read some peoples stories who may be in the same place as me but I couldn't find what I was looking for. It was then that I thought, if I am looking for it, surely there are other people out there looking for it too.

So here I am, I am going to tell you my stories, tell you what's hard, how everything's going, whats nice, basically, I'm going to tell you as much as I can. And what would be really nice, is if you have a story you can tell too, that you could publish it on here to share with other people too. It really does help to hear how other people are dealing with things, survival stories, what you found hard, how you coped with it etc.


I will tell you a little bit now, so you know what I'm writing about in future posts. I am 18, I was 17 when my Nan died. My mum is my best friend, she's always been there for me. When I was bullied all through school, she was always there for me, shes supported me and she's showed me how to care, she is one of the most caring people I know. It was about 2 weeks ago she found a lump in her boob, she went to the doctors and they said she should be checked out in hospital just in case it was cancer, although they said it could just have been a cyst. But it's ALWAYS better to be safe than sorry. She went to hospital to have some tests and had to wait a week for the results. It turned out she did have breast cancer, so she was booked in for an operation.

That is the basics of what has happened, but I will be filling you in on details, how things are going and everything else. Random posts that I may find inspiring, emotional factors, how to cope and all that. We was close to my Nan, so having her get really ill was really hard for her and us. I will tell you as much as I can about as much as I can to give you hope and even if you have a family member or even a friend who has cancer. Because it can change everything, they and you may not no how to deal with things.

I hope this blog will be a help to people who need it, and I encourage you to share anything you can with the community to help other people to. If you would like it to be anonymous, please state *anon at the end.

If would like any advice, would like to ask things please don't hesitate. I'm no expert but I can give my opinion or help out in any way I can. Again if you don't want your name put to it then please state *anon at the end. If you have a story you would like to tell and have featured on this blog then you can also email mum.cancer@hotmail.com and I will get back to you asap.

Samantha 

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